Islamist's terms explained in plain English

Ahmadinutjob
Grand Poobah of Islaminicism; enjoys fresh smegma from Ayatollahs and short, but magnificent view of a nuclear explosion over Teheran

Aisha
The Prophet's 2nd wife, whose marriage was consummated at the age of 9, giving rise to accusations of pedophilia, which are most infuriating to Islamaniax.

Akbar
Used in conjunction with the word "Allah" prior to Pink Mist stage

Al Bouraq
Large white horse-like creature with the ears of an ass, the face of a woman, and the wings and tail of a peacock. Muhammad took a ride on this imaginary beast after eating some bad mushrooms. Quite a trip. Islamaniax become infuriated when non-Islamaniax (Jews, Christians and other dirty kaffirs) describe this Islamaniac fairy-tale.

Allah
Moon-God; better than a camel or 72 virgins

Allah-carte
Small pieces of diced infidel with a separate price for each piece

Ass Salami Yecchum
Popular greeting among Islamaniax

Burqua
Device designed to conceal facial and body hair of Musliminicist female. Sometimes worn by Islaminicist males for getting in touch with their feminine side.

Burqua King
Home of the flame-broiled Islamonaziburger; coming to Iran in 2007.

Camel
1. Object of affection
2. Fastest vehicle invented by Musliminicist

Cartoon
Invitation to burn infidel embassy

Chocolate Moo-Hamed
Moo-Hamed prepared by Islamaniac jurist who is an expert in Fiqhal matters

Christians
Jew-lovers, will go to Hell after we kill them

Crusader
Dirty Jew (not that there are any clean ones)

Dynamite Stick
Device used for martyrdom in a form of suppository

Eunuch
Overweight Musliminicist with no balls, used for guarding harems

Fardh
Something mandatory, i.e., passing gas is considered a fardh after a meal of spicy Moo-hummus washed down with Pearls of Wisdom and a tall glass of Musliminaid or Moo-Hamed

Female age for marriage
Six years old

Female age for marriage consummation
Nine years old

Fiqh
Understanding, comprehension, knowledge, and jurisprudence among Islamaniax. Only an Islamaniac jurist can be considered an expert in Fiqhal matters and Fiqhal movements of all kinds.

Hell
Subsurface territory reserved for Jews, Christians & Pagans

Hamass
Pig/mule hybrid resembling but not related to human beings, currently blowing themselves up throughout Palestine

Harem
Concubine warehouse of a rich Musliminist. Accepts girls 6 and older.

Hell
Subsurface territory reserved for Jews, Christians & Pagans

Hitler
Lazy bastard who didn't finish the job. Thank Allah for Osama and Ahmadinutjob. When alive, enjoyed young boys and scat movies.

Holy Shit
aka Jamkaran Well, first outdoor toilet used by Shit Islamaniax

Infidude
Orange County Infidel

Islamania (Muslimania)
Martyrdom disease

Islamaniac
Islamicist suffering from Islamania

Islamaniax
More than one Islamaniac

Islamarguopaucity
Weakness of the arguments of Islamicism

Islamicertainty
Certainty that Islam is right and the rest of the world is wrong

Islamicertitude
Certainty that Allah approves Killing

Islamicism, Islaminicism, Islamicism, Musliminity, Muslimitudinousness, Muslimicism
The act of being Islamicist

Islaminuke
Giant microwave oven with 72 forks and a picture of A.Q. Khan

Islamofriendly
Place of work or study as mandated by the Supreme Council of CAIR & Co., i.e., no unscarved females, no dogs, no pigs, and absolutely no fucking Jews!

Islamofrownedupon
Improperly scarved female, people using showers, de-loused headwear, etc.

Islamohomo
Musliminist male who'd rather see women draped from head to toe.

IslamoNoGo
Discos, cocktail parties, dances, movies, libraries. Too dangerous for the average Muslimicist. IslamaGoGo: No such thing. Muslimicists can't dance.

Islamopacity
Acting in the capacity of spokesman for Islamicists

Islamophobinist
Muslimophobinist

Islamophobinistick
Stick belonging to Islamophobini (Islamophobinist of Italian decent)

Islamophuk
Verb. Common usage: Go Islamophuk yourself.

Jews
1. Pigs, Apes, Dogs & Snakes. Sneaky bastards who managed to steal land from the Palestinian people twenty years before they became Palestinian people. Monsters who murder Muslim babies and use their blood as condiment. Will all go to Hell after we kill them.
2. More than one Jew

Jihadnik
Exceptionally dumb Jihadist
Plural: Jihadnix

Jizzbullah
Popular Mujahideenist drink in Lebanon

Khartoum
Common Musliminicist mispronunciation of the word "cartoon"

Male Member
Reward promised to Musliminicists in exchange for martyrdom. Comes with a 72-year-old virgin. Batteries not included.

Mecca-nized Infantry
Eight Islamaniax riding camels with hand grenades strapped to their chests attacking an armored column

Medina
Aphrodisiac prayer known as Spanish Fly for Andalusian Musliminists. [See "Funky Cole Medina" a song made popular by Ton Loc.] Sung by Islamicisists before performing unspeakable acts on camels.

Moo-Hamed
Milk based drink leaving one thirsty for world domination

Mosque
1. Popular place of hiding when Islamaniacs come under fire from real soldiers
2. Place where Musliminist men worship the Moon-God
3. Comfortable place to discuss filthy Jews and Christians
4. Place where Musliminists hide munitions, rifles, and improvised explosive devices so they can take pictures following the Mosque's destruction while simultaneously whining that the Jews and Crusaders are targeting places Holy to the Moon God.

Muhamodia
Rare type of chlamydia, shared by Islamicists and camels

Muhamed
1. Sub-Divine Being. Enjoys being drawn by infidels, but drawing by Musliminicists is Islamofrownedupon
2. Warlike pedophile that said he had a vision of world domination involving worship of a Moon-God


Moo-hummus
Delicious sandwich named after the Prophet; served on flatbread before martyrdom operation

Mullah
Beast of burden used to pull a wagon in most 3rd world Islaminist countries

Muslimaniac
Musliminist suffering from Muslimania

Muslimaniax
More than one Muslimaniac

Musliminaid
Drink extracted from a male camel

Musliminisation
Amputation of an unused male member, leads to perpetual anger. Known to happen during advanced stages of Islamania. Reverse procedure (addadicktome) is strictly prohibited under Koranic law

Musliminous
State of being Musliminicist

Muslimodorant
Secretion collected from the armpits of 72-year-old virgins. Dual-use substance. Could be used either as a deodorant among the Islamicists or as a chemical weapon if the enemy attacks.

Muslimophile
Infidel who is likely to convert to Islam, i.e. a convict who is tired of being his cellmate's bitch

Muslimophobinist
Mean infidel who enjoy hurting terrorists for no reason and defames Islamonazis for fun

Muslimophrenia
Voices in my head insist on killing infidels

Muslimoron
Infidel who does not believe that Islam is the only true religion

Muslipiety, Muslipiousness
Piety as it applies to Islamicists

Muslitirety (Caliphate)
The whole world must be Muslim in its entirety

Nasrallah
Head of the Shit Mujahideenists; abbreviation: ShitHead

Osama bin Laden
Grand Poobah of Musliminicism; enjoys quiet evening in a cave, scratching himself, calling his youngest wife a Jewish whore and playing hide and seek with Tomahawks and Predators.

Osamahomo
Osama's male cousin with a crush on OBL

Pagans
Jew-lovers, will go to Hell after we kill them

Party Pooper
Rear part of a camel

Pink Mist
Intermediate stage between martyrdom and meeting a 72-year-old virgin

Pearl(s)
Boys or young men used by middle class Islamonazis who cannot afford harems

Pearl Diver
Islaminist who seeks out young men for fun and prophet

Pearls of Wisdom
What is commonly found dribbling down the chin of a Pearl Diver

Riyadh
Musliminicist method of camel deflowering

Schlong
Appendage found on the bottom of a camel. Used as a source of nutrients on cross-desert routes

Schlong-envy
Just another reason to kill the Jews

Seventy-Two-Year-Old Virgin
Reward promised to Musliminicists in exchange for martyrdom

Stretch Camel
Muslimousine

Sword of Allah
Turbo charged colonic irrigation device frequently enjoyed by Iranian Ayatollahs

Taliban
Song made popular by Harry Belafonte. [See "Come Mr. Taliban, tally me banana."] Adopted as a battle cry by Muslimaniax in Second Millennium

Tehran
He ran, she ran, teh all ran

Towelban
Former rulers of Afghanistan before USAF bombed them back to pre-history

Vail
Device design to conceal facial hair of female Musliminicists

Yassir Arafuck
Lazy bastard who didn't finish the job. Thank Allah for Osama and Ahmadinutjob. When alive, enjoyed young men and billions that were meant for starving Muslims.

Zawahairy
Musliminicist female with an untrimmed bush

Zionist Crusader
1. Muslimophobinist
2. Zionist who likes to cruise


Selected verses from Holy Paper Rolls

Bukhari LXII:25
"As for whom(ever) plays with a boy: if he caused him to enter him, then he shall not marry his mother."

Sura LII:24
"And there shall wait on them [the Muslimicist men] young boys of their own, as fair as virgin pearls."

Sura LXXVI:19
"They shall be attended by boys graced with eternal youth, who will seem like scattered pearls to the beholders."